Four Ways to Turn Down a Date by Gred and Forge
by anarchyartist23
Summary: Fred and George were quite the playboys in their Hogwarts years, here's just a short look into how I think they avoided some less than desirable dates!


**Four Ways to Turn Down a Date by Gred and Forge Weasley**

**1) My Mum Doesn't Allow Dating…**

She had been following him around all day, going as far as to skive off double potions with Snape to follow him to herbology.

Lee had been the first to notice, whispering in his friend's ear that a certain fifth year had been stalking them around the castle. When he turned to look she merely twirled her long blonde hair around one manicured finger, sending a suggestive wink his way.

"I reckon she fancies you mate," Fred informed him gravely over dinner that night. The three were sitting at the end of the table, as far away as possible from the offensive underclassmen.

George nearly joked on his pumpkin juice, laughing mirthlessly at the idea. "Her and every other female with eyes Gred."

"What excuse will it be this time Forge?"

"Lee?" The two trained their eyes on the boy, he kept the book of excuses, marking off which ones had been used and writing down new ones as they thought of them.

He scanned the worn leather volume, "Uh, here it is – my mum doesn't allow dating. Not very far off is it?"

George merely rolled his eyes upwards; Molly Weasley's rules had very little effect on his love life. "I suppose I should get it over with then."

"Half the fun is –"

"- waiting for her to come to you. I quite agree Gred; wanna bet how long it will take then?"

Lee laughed, nodding towards the approaching girl, "No need. Get your game face on mate."

Without a word she expertly wedged herself between the brothers, smiling up at George, still twirling her hair, her briefly wondered if she ever did anything else.

"Hello Fred, you look simply scrumptious tonight," she commented, eyeing him up and down appreciatively, the other two snorted with laughter.

This would be easier than he thought; she didn't even know which twin she was dealing with, "Lavender."

"There's a Hogsmeade weekend coming up, I was thinking I would allow you to take me." She wiggled her eyebrows making George nearly lose it, doing all he could to hold back his own hysterics. It didn't help that Fred was silently shaking behind her, his face now matching his hair as he fought to breathe through the laughter.

"Oh well, as _scrumptious_ as that sounds, my mum doesn't actually allow me to date you see."

The look on the younger girls face was one of abject horror, who would do something so cruel as to deny dating? "Aren't you seventeen?"

Fred piped up at this point, a grin plastered across his face, "Mum decided after his second child that dating might not be the thing for him. You see, Fred here gets around."

By now Lavender looked as if she had lost the ability to breathe.

"Oh, well, I best be off then." Excusing herself from the table, she ran the length of the great hall to her friends, more than happy to share the news that Fred Weasley had fathered not one, but two children before even finishing at Hogwarts.

The three broke into an uproar of laughter, patting each other on the back in congratulations.

"Good one George," Lee noted, placing a star next to that excuse in the book.

"I'm Fred."

"Nice try."

"And that is why –"

"- you are our best mate!"

**2) I'm Only Date Muggles**

Typically speaking Slytherins and Gryffindors did not mix well. One was cunning, brave and true; the other was, in the twin's opinion anyway, a bunch of ugly rat face sissies with no quidditch abilities whatsoever.

Unfortunately for Fred, one Slytherin did not ascribe to this belief. Flora Carrow, one-half of the only other twin pair in their year, had found herself rather keen on Fred Weasley. She was an impish girl, barely reaching his chest, her skin paler then his own and had a head full of mousey, stringy brown hair.

Her approach had been far different from Lavender's, she watched Fred from afar, her snake green eyes following him wherever he went.

After conferring with George and Lee, Fred realized turning her down would have to be a solo mission. After referring to the book, Fred picked an extra-special reason; he mustered up as much Gryffindor courage as he felt was necessary and set off to the dungeons to find the girl.

It wasn't hard, she seemed to know he was coming and was sitting on a stone bench outside the Slytherin tapestry, reading _101 and Ways to Torture the Innocent_, Fred briefly wondered if this was such a good idea.

"Hello Frederick, fancy seeing you down here." If her appearance was a bit off, her voice was downright creepy. She set the book down in her lap, moving over to make room for him.

He decided to remain standing, in case a quick escape was necessary. "Uh yeah, I've been hearing some stories, rather funny ones actually, and I figured I should go to the source to see if they're true."

"I fancy you Frederick. I find you to be quite handsome despite your ill-suited clothing and awful shade of hair. I hardly mind that you're a Gryffindor either, everyone makes mistakes." A ghost of a smile covered her face with this statement.

Damn that book.

"Well, see the thing is… I only date muggles!" The word was barely out of his mouth before he took off running down the hall. He didn't stop until he reached the Gryffindor common room, panting heavily as he tried to catch his breath.

Lee and George were waiting by the fire for him. "How'd it go Gred?"

He shrugged, "Fine, she cried a bit, I mean she did get turned down by me. I think I might have ruined her whole year, you should've seen her face."

The two shared unconvincing looks.

"Ran didn't you?"

"All the way back."

**3) I Have a Contagious Disease**

Thinking ahead in a sticky situation wasn't one of George Weasley's finer points. He tended to agree to almost anything at the time and then figure out a way to get out of it at the last minute.

Being asked out by Katie Bell was one such situation. Oliver Wood, their feared and beloved captain was no longer attending Hogwarts, but it was common knowledge that Katie Bell had until recently been his girl. George wasn't afraid of many people, but the few he was afraid of included his mum and Oliver Wood.

"You've got to get outta it Forge. Wood will kill you then feed you to his quidditch team for protein." Fred was having a particularly good time with this one.

The two were seated at the back of the classroom, pretending to do their charms work, but instead were drawing up plans for their future shop.

George was fitting a roof onto the building, his hands shaking at the very notion of facing Wood. "I'm aware brother dear."

"Do you think he'd eat your heart or your brain?"

"Probably his heart, he doesn't have much brains, now would you please be quiet!" Alicia Spinnet hissed from the seat in front of them, flipping her hair back over her shoulders.

"I resent that!" George said with a jab of his pencil, the girl ignored him.

"Just get it over with as soon as class is over. Infectious disease is next, I checked with Lee over breakfast."

George nodded, "Aye you're right. What should it be this time?"

"Spattergroit, we have those new chews for that. Here it is." Fred handed him the candy, bright red on one side and completely white on the other. "Chew it down now; this one takes a bit longer than the rest."

Sure enough by the time charms had ended and George had tracked Katie down in the library, he was covered head to toe in slimy purple pustules.

"George what happened to you?" Katie asked her voice filled with concern, keeping a safe distance from the oozing boy.

"Spattergroit, caught it from our ghoul over break I reckon. So about this date, what did you have in mind?" He sat down next to her, doing his best seductive pose, not easy when one was leaking purple fluid.

Katie shrunk back, trying to gather up her books as quickly as possible, "On second thought I'm not sure that's such a good idea. I'm sorry George, it's just Ollie owled me and he really wants to try to work things out. I owe it one last chance."

George hung his head, hoping he was convincingly upset, "Oh, well I suppose this is it then. A kiss for the road?" He puckered up, leaning in.

"No, no, I don't think so. You should have that check out. I'll see you later, bye George." The girl nearly ran from the library.

Reaching into his pocket, George ate the white end, slowly turning back into himself. He smiled victoriously, hadn't even had to turn her down that time. This attempt was getting two stars.

**4) Simply Say No**

The twins had spent the better part of the DA meeting working on their patronuses and were one of the few left when they saw Hermione approaching them.

"Fred, can I have a word with you?" George raised his eyebrow at his twin, saying nothing as he slowly backed away.

Fred sighed, he had hoped it wouldn't come to this, a fool could see his brother fancied Hermione. "Listen Hermione, I think you're a great girl, but no I will not take you out on a date, no amount of convincing will work, I'm sorry."

There, he had done it, he braced himself for her reaction.

Laughter – that was not what he expected. "You thought I wanted to date you? I never!'

"Hey it isn't funny, I'm very desirable, it's ok for you to want me."

The girl only laughed harder, "Fred I only wanted to give you this." She held out a book, still succumbing to hysterics.

"My potions book?"

She nodded, "You left it in the common room last night, silly boy. And Fred."

"Yes?"

"You are not nearly as desirable as you think."

**Well there you have it, just a short one shot to take my mind off of the story I'm currently working on. Not even close to being my best work, but it was certainly a lot of fun! Enjoy and review!**


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